Hahh!!! So here I’m
again…long it has been, quite long in fact.
Long gap comes with voluminous data, gallons full of
experiences, various visuals, speeches, thoughts, and perceptions crossing
across and this time it has been quite a ‘real’ lot. Don’t know how elevating
it was this time but quantity is undeniably gross.
In a B-school, as they say, it’s a paradigm shift; from
everything we’ve been through and across till date. Not only ‘a new place, a
new story’, its just a legacy of unpredictable and unassumingly diverse conglomeration.
But the ‘The Time’ of a B-school, in its initial course has
been explicit. You see people meeting, getting involved and then the hard
reality. Not everybody can sail across with the baggage they create. Some,
however, start creating evolving their notions of baggage. But few, they’re exemplary,
they not only sail across, do that with utmost beauty.
Now beauty, huhh, that again is one big time subjective
concept. Being in the phase we see, ‘beauty’ plummeting beyond rationale but
also rocketing in the most poised fashion. It’s a humungous mix. Your thought
process is cradled and rocked to send you in oblivion, as if ‘water, water
everywhere, not a drop to drink’.
Its baffling to comprehend, knotty indeed, but is it even
required.
This one week of faineance has given me a lot of bandwidth
to ponder over. Musing and brooding over what was good, what went wrong for me,
contemplating my highs and lows, speculation… lots of it. Hahh… such a self-obsessed
person I am. It just starts in me revolves around me and ends in me. ;)
But then in this ‘around me’ were a lot of components. Of course
the ‘me’ part doesn’t really needs a space in the cloud and for the others,
they can be easily wrapped up in this sheet ;)
So as it is about the ‘around’ part, quite dynamic it was,
still is. It was just a matter of a week, 7*24 hours, that’s it… say 95% of my
year’s siesta and equations (read ‘equations + appearances’) have commuted in
light years. Now what happened and what led to it, I won’t prefer scribbling it
here. Reason – Whatever opinion I have about those ‘dynamics’, I don’t really
give much of a damn about things I couldn’t have altered anyhow. And so I just
don’t want it to be etched in the ‘cloud’ and time as well. They were wrong but
then there’re a lot of things going wrong; its not a submissive attitude but
may be reluctance since I’m not the one affected. My friends are, maybe that’s
why I still have the thought lingering in this box of mine. That’s what we’ve
come down to.
This is something I can explicit about. As far as everything
goes well with us, the world in its entirety seems to be a joyful place. Without
fail we have our plans, and the only flickers here are if anything seems to
negate their sustenance. So here I have these three stories, all around me. One
is mine (*obsession is not the word* #sheepishh ;)) better placed in the more
personal space ;) , another one, that’s a context too dumb to be unmuted and
then there’s this one, I really want to pen down.
This goes around one person but definitely not just about
her alone, just that she made things most evident in the not-so-adulterated
way. You know there’s this one person who hasn’t seen failures in her life,
accepting one now won’t be easy. But not every way is as smooth as always. Reality
can, and is meant to, surpass predictions. But what’s peculiar is the
impression it leaves on you. A person can be motivated or demotivated post such
a rendezvous; that certainly isn’t the concern. But what instigates an
orientation to the motivation is important. When a winner who has seen
capacities and calibre being respected, has certainly not given heed to the ‘other
tangible’ attributes. That’s the humanness of being, we just don’t care to see
beyond the purview we’re comfortable in, till everything is running smooth. But
then there’s this next moment you feel shattered, and yes, its these ‘never
considered’ ‘other’ attributes which might not, in our understanding, decide
the rightfulness of qualification but matter for some, and undeniably a lot for
some others.
Well… it sounds a lot more confusing than intended. But its
all part of the flow, doesn’t really matters whatever scaled to your bygone
success stories and failing you here. What this day’s introspecting neurons
revolve around is the deductions it drives to.
And when the deduction is to bring upon yourself the
ownership of all ‘those’ attributes, not as a part of your evolution but as a mere
herd-ified thought process wherein you think nothing else works, even for a
bit, and its just the tangibility of these attributes that counts. More devilish
it becomes with the cognition that you don’t really believe in the tangibility
but are forcing yourself as the last resort….
Hahh… I believe I’m strangled by thoughts. But is it really ‘the’
time for a ‘last’ resort, even for a resort..!!?? As in, its ‘last’ for heaven’s
sake, and last I believe is the rudest way to mock oneself on any grounds.
PS: I might explicit more on this... someday... need to break my personal fetters to revealing things... M this Scorpio u see... ;)
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